A New Look for Kirsten

During the Thanksgiving day events I asked my mom if she would be willing to cut Kirsten's hair. It was three different lengths before, her shoulder, her chin and she had some uneven bangs. The different lengths made her hair look so thin and it made it such a challenge to fix. So I thought a change was in order. Above is Kirsten before her hair cut.
And here is the after picture. Doesn't she look cute? I think her hair will grow back thicker and be much easier to fix from now on. We curled her hair and she looked just adorable.

Fun in the Snow

Our good friends Aaron and Angela Park invited us to play in the snow at their house this past Saturday. It was so much fun. Ken and Aaron helped the kids build a snow fort. Yes a snowball fight was sure to follow. Everyone had fun. We will being doing this again I'm sure.

Bundled up Kirsten. So cute. She was so excited to go play in the snow.
Angela and Christopher posing for a picture in the fort they helped build.
Aaron joined in the fun. He had a good aim. He even would catch his wife Angela's snowballs she threw at him and he would throw them back at her. He made her so mad when he did that.
Ken got so busy making snowballs, he got hot and took off his coat. Funny man.
The kids hard at work making snow balls. Make a lot. You'll need them.

Our Anniversary trip to Lava Hot springs

We had planned for weeks to take a trip to Lava Hot Springs to celebrate our 11th weddinganniversary. We asked one of the young women from our ward to babysit, and left at 3:30. It was so relaxing to just soak in the steamy hot pools. Ken and I talked to a few people there. One of whom thought I was still in my early twenties. I'll gladly take that as a compliment thank you. Overall we had such a fun time there. After about a 1 1/2 soak we went to a local pizza place called the Royal for dinner. It was a great way to top off the evening.

Christopher He's a good kid

I have come to realize after 1 1/2 years of schooling Christopher through the Idaho Virtual Academy that it just isn't working anymore. Not the school it's self, but me teaching Christopher. I gave it my all. I have no regrets. He has made great progress in reading and comprehension. There are just issues with the mother teacher relationship that I just can't fix while he's here at home. I have had a lot to work through as far as this issue goes. Most people in my position would have given up after only a few weeks. Let's face it I'm not a quitter. It has taken me weeks to realize that putting Christopher in a public school does not make me in any way a quitter. I have just come to realize that some kids are not good at being schooled by their parent. It's hard for me to come to this. I wanted so much to help him. I've also realized that I can still help him in a public school. Their is after all, homework. It's not like Christopher is a bad kid. Putting him in the public school in no way reflects that with me. It just means maybe for him he just needed a year of one on one help at home. He will most likely do just fine away from home in the public school. I guess in some ways I am feeling a little anxious about this whole ordeal. It's funny though. I picked up the papers to get him register in Tendoy and I felt completely calm. Quite unlike the feeling I got when I enrolled him in Kindergarten two years ago. So I have not failed. He has learned a lot at home. I just have to realize now that he can also learn a lot at Tendoy. So it's the end of Christopher being schooled by me. The beginning of his education at Tendoy. Good luck Christopher. I'm sure you'll do fine now. I have to admit, I'll miss you.

Reflection on Naomi's birthday

This would have been Naomi Ruth Tennant's 4th birthday. As I reflect on the meaning of this day, I decided to write what I have learned from the experience of her life and Death.

1. Life is too short to take anything or anyone for granted. You never know how long they will be here.
2. One baby can touch so many lives in just 5 weeks time. There wasn't a family member or friend I know that wasn't touched in a positive way by her, both before and after she died. In that way to me, she was missed by all that knew her or should have known her.
3. Smiles are worth a thousand words. I learned through Naomi, smiles mean I love you.
4. The Atonement is real. It is not just for the sinner or the sinned against but for those that morn for any reason. In my case, it was for morning the lose of Naomi. I know if it wasn't for Christ's atonement their would be no resurrection and no eternal families. Because of Christ's atonement, I will have the chance to raise my baby. For this I am forever Grateful.
5. Through her life I learned what true love is. That love between a mother and child is very strong. I learned it is strong on the part of the baby as well as the mother.
6. I learned after her passing how many friends and family truly know what it means to morn with those that morn. Even now, I feel them wrap their arms around me in my time or sorrow and morning.
7. Grief doesn't just come and then go. It is more like an onion in which we are constantly peeling back the layers. It evolves with time.
8. I have also learned that time alone doesn't heal all wounds. To me it took Time, God and Love to heal this wound.
9. With both Naomi's life and Death, I learned that God is in control. She was born at the right time and place. Whether I want to admit it or not the same is true of her passing.
10. Children are still ours whether in this life in the here and now, or in the next life in the world to come. This has been my biggest comfort. She is forever mine. This means to me, I have 4 children.
11. All experiences are for our understanding and growth. Even if that means I still don't completely understand, someday I will. And not understanding all the reasons for the passing of Naomi is fine. Not understanding in some ways makes my faith grow stronger. I want to go on in faith knowing that someday all will be put right again.
12. I also learned to hug and kiss the children I still have here with me. You can never hug and kiss loved ones too much. Regret comes from not doing it enough. For me this would be the worst kind of regret.
13. There will never come a time until I die, that I won't miss her. I have finally come to realize that is OK. Like I said earlier, Grief never ends in this life.
14. Happiness can come again even in times of Grief. I learned that happiness was up to me. It was OK to be happy again, even with her gone. It is not the same kind of happiness as it was before her passing. It has evolved into something entirely different. Like a butterfly evolves from a Caterpillar. And yes I am happy now.
15. God never leaves us comfort less. I learned this before and after she died. One of the times I learned this is shortly after she was born Melissa Curtis offered to take my oldest kids for a while. I so enjoyed being alone with Naomi and rocking her to sleep. I also found comfort after her death from Naomi herself. I felt her near during my hardest times.
16. I feel each trial gives us empathy to help others. Through my experience, I was able to help other mothers in their time of grief. I helped form a Infant loss support group. I learned the real meaning behind the phase "A joy shared increases, a sorrow shared divides." Morning with those that morn is so needed in this world.

So to summarize, even though I miss my baby Naomi so much, and wish in some ways she had lived, I wouldn't trade the lessons I learned through her life and death for anything. It has truly edified me in ways nothing else could. I Still love my Angel Baby Naomi Ruth Tennant.

Kirsten the Mess Maker

So every morning we eat breakfast and then Angie and Christopher do their History and science lesson while I clean the kitchen and fix my hair. Well when I walked into my bathroom this is who I saw standing on the counter pleased as can be. She took everything out of the shelves, and rubbed Vaseline all over the mirror and her hair. I had one of two choices. I could either cry or laugh. I chose to laugh and then took this picture.

And this is how she did it. I am frankly shocked that she thought this through enough to turn the garbage upside down in order to climb on top of the counter. This kid is a trouble maker that is for sure.