A Letter to Naomi

It has been 3 years since I gave birth to my Angel baby Naomi Ruth Tennant. I thought to commemorate the occasion I would write a letter to her in my journal. Here it goes.

Dear Naomi Ruth Tennant

It is hard for me to believe at times that it has actually been 3 years since you blessed us with your presence. I was so excited to find out I was pregnant with you on the 4th of March 2006. It had been such a long time since I had a baby. I had planned on naming you Naomi since your Grandma Robbins died a year prior to my getting pregnant with you. Naomi was your great Grandma Robbins' name. Naming you Naomi was my way of dealing with the loss of my Grandma. Just knowing I was finally pregnant with you brought so much happiness into my life. I couldn't wait to tell everyone I knew about your coming. Your due date was the 4th of November. It seemed the longest wait of my life. I knew you were a girl as soon as I knew I was pregnant with you. I found out on the 24th of June 2006. There wasn't a single person that I told about the news of your coming arrival that wasn't also happy for your coming. Later in the summer as your daddy and I prepared for your birth, we realized that we wanted to have a home birth. We took a Bradley Method class and we learned that this would be the best way to bring you into the world. We later, after much searching, found a midwife that fit our needs and expectations. I was so excited to give birth to you at home. We chose to have a water birth.

On November 6th 2006 I went into labor with you late that night. My labor with you was long and hard. With the help of your Daddy and my midwife, Michele Bartlett, I made it through. Finally at 2:28 pm on the 7th of November, you came into the world. I still remember when your daddy brought you out of the water. Your little tongue curled and your lips quivered. You were so cute. I was so excited to finally have you in my arms. I felt the most happy I had ever felt in my life. My recovery after giving birth to you was very relaxed. I enjoyed being in my own home. You were so cute. You weighed 7 pounds 15 ounces. Your daddy and I experienced the happiest five and a half weeks after your birth. It was so fun to see you grow during that time. I loved holding you in my arms while you fell asleep there. I wonder before you left us if life could possibly get any better. I was so happy.

Christmas and the excitement that went with it was added to the excitement of having you that following December. After you turned one month old you started to smile at me. I knew then that you loved me and you knew that I was taking good care of you as your mother. Your brother, Christopher, and sister, Angela, loved holding you. They adored you, their baby sister. Life seemed complete with you in our lives. You started to babble shortly after you turned one month old. You were such a sweet baby. I enjoyed soothing you when you were fussy. Your daddy so enjoyed rocking you to sleep at night. We didn’t complain much when you woke us up at night. We enjoyed our time with you, not knowing at the time it would be so short.

Then the awful day came when Heavenly Father called you home on the 16th of December 2006. It broke my heart to lose you. We found out that you had died of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). For months afterward it caused me much sorrow. I didn’t know how to go on with my life without you in it. My arms ached to hold you. With the passage of time and the arrival of your sister, Kirsten, nineteen months later, I have found reasons to be happy again, though; it is not the same kind of happiness as it was after your birth. I do love my life and your siblings, but you should know that not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. All the love I would have given you the (kisses and hugs) I now give to your siblings. When I see your baby sister, Kirsten, playing, laughing, and babbling, I think of all that I have missed with you, but I also look forward to someday having this time with you in the millennium to raise you there. In the mean time I will continue giving hugs and kisses to Angela, Christopher, and Kirsten; those same hugs that I would have given to you if you had lived. Please know that I love you so much.

Your mother, always.