Reflection on Naomi's birthday

This would have been Naomi Ruth Tennant's 4th birthday. As I reflect on the meaning of this day, I decided to write what I have learned from the experience of her life and Death.

1. Life is too short to take anything or anyone for granted. You never know how long they will be here.
2. One baby can touch so many lives in just 5 weeks time. There wasn't a family member or friend I know that wasn't touched in a positive way by her, both before and after she died. In that way to me, she was missed by all that knew her or should have known her.
3. Smiles are worth a thousand words. I learned through Naomi, smiles mean I love you.
4. The Atonement is real. It is not just for the sinner or the sinned against but for those that morn for any reason. In my case, it was for morning the lose of Naomi. I know if it wasn't for Christ's atonement their would be no resurrection and no eternal families. Because of Christ's atonement, I will have the chance to raise my baby. For this I am forever Grateful.
5. Through her life I learned what true love is. That love between a mother and child is very strong. I learned it is strong on the part of the baby as well as the mother.
6. I learned after her passing how many friends and family truly know what it means to morn with those that morn. Even now, I feel them wrap their arms around me in my time or sorrow and morning.
7. Grief doesn't just come and then go. It is more like an onion in which we are constantly peeling back the layers. It evolves with time.
8. I have also learned that time alone doesn't heal all wounds. To me it took Time, God and Love to heal this wound.
9. With both Naomi's life and Death, I learned that God is in control. She was born at the right time and place. Whether I want to admit it or not the same is true of her passing.
10. Children are still ours whether in this life in the here and now, or in the next life in the world to come. This has been my biggest comfort. She is forever mine. This means to me, I have 4 children.
11. All experiences are for our understanding and growth. Even if that means I still don't completely understand, someday I will. And not understanding all the reasons for the passing of Naomi is fine. Not understanding in some ways makes my faith grow stronger. I want to go on in faith knowing that someday all will be put right again.
12. I also learned to hug and kiss the children I still have here with me. You can never hug and kiss loved ones too much. Regret comes from not doing it enough. For me this would be the worst kind of regret.
13. There will never come a time until I die, that I won't miss her. I have finally come to realize that is OK. Like I said earlier, Grief never ends in this life.
14. Happiness can come again even in times of Grief. I learned that happiness was up to me. It was OK to be happy again, even with her gone. It is not the same kind of happiness as it was before her passing. It has evolved into something entirely different. Like a butterfly evolves from a Caterpillar. And yes I am happy now.
15. God never leaves us comfort less. I learned this before and after she died. One of the times I learned this is shortly after she was born Melissa Curtis offered to take my oldest kids for a while. I so enjoyed being alone with Naomi and rocking her to sleep. I also found comfort after her death from Naomi herself. I felt her near during my hardest times.
16. I feel each trial gives us empathy to help others. Through my experience, I was able to help other mothers in their time of grief. I helped form a Infant loss support group. I learned the real meaning behind the phase "A joy shared increases, a sorrow shared divides." Morning with those that morn is so needed in this world.

So to summarize, even though I miss my baby Naomi so much, and wish in some ways she had lived, I wouldn't trade the lessons I learned through her life and death for anything. It has truly edified me in ways nothing else could. I Still love my Angel Baby Naomi Ruth Tennant.